For me the most interesting thing about a solitary life,and mine has been that for the last twenty years,is that it becomes increasingly rewarding. When I can wake up and watch the sun rise over the ocean, as I do most days, and know that I have an entire day ahead,uninterrupted, in which to write a few pages, take a walk with my dog,lie down in the afternoon for a think(Why does one think better in a horizontal position?),read and listen to music, I am flooded with happiness.
I am lonely only when I am overtired, when I have worked too long without a break, when for the time being I feel empty and need filling up.And I am lonely sometimes when I come back home after a lecture trip, when I have seen a lot of people and talked a lot,and am full to the brim with experience that needs to be sorted out.
Then for a little while the house feels huge and empty, and I wonder where myself is hiding.It has been recaptured slowly by watering the plants, perhaps, and looking again at each one as though it were a person,by feeding the two cats, by cooking a meal.
It takes a while, as I watch the surf blowing up in fountains at the end of the field, but the moment when the world falls away,and the self emerges again from the deep unconsciousness, bringing back all I have recently experienced to be explored and slowly understood,when I can converse again with my hidden powers,and so grow, and so be rewarded, till death do us part.